Chocolate Chip Cookies Ingredients:

Written by an Engineer

1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2 litre jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall

heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/°F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one,

two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2 litre reactor vessel

with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four,

five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous.
To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes

of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient

nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at

this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may

be the result of an exothermic reaction.
Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture

piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460°K oven

for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's

first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.

Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25°C heat-transfer

table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

- Anon
Brought to my attention by Mike Morton

Top Ten Reasons To Date an Engineer

1. The world does revolve around us... We pick the coordinate system.
2. Find out what those other buttons on your calculator do.
3. We know how to handle stress and strain in our relationships.
4. Parents will approve.
5. Help with your math homework.
6. Can calculate head pressure.
7. Looks good on a resume.
8. Free body diagrams.
9. High starting salary.
10. Extremely good looking

Top Ten Reasons NOT to Date an Engineer

1. T-shirt and jeans are their formal dress. Hot dog and a six-pack is the
2. seven-course meal.
3. The only social life known of is to post and talk on the net.
4. Flames like a monster and speaks like a pussycat.
5. Works from 6:30am to 7:30pm daily. No morning kisses and no evening walks.
6. No matter how hard you cry and how loud you yell, he just sits there calmly discussing your emotion in terms of mathematical logic.
7. Only listens to classic rock. Hates everything from Bach to Prince.
8. Touches his car more often than you.
9. Talks in acronyms.
10. Can't leave that damn pencil off his ear for a minute.
11. Will file a divorce if you call him in the middle of debugging.